Declaration of I am

8/13

Had lunch at seiad cafe and saw a bunch of hikers come through. Smokey tin tin handstand and handmedown. Tiner took testament and I to the town of Yreka where my uncle Lou picked us up. Testament had a friend in town. We picked up V from Czechoslovakia, hitching on the side of the highway to get to Ashland. Ate dinner with my uncle at a Thai restaraunt. I was in the mood for shrimp pad Thai. We got to know eachother a little bit, sharing stories. Man is he full of stories! Great stories of many synchronistic events.

Uncle Lou 

8/14

Did errands in Ashland. Everyone seems to know everyone in Ashland. Food coop was cool. Saw cheeseburger there. I ran into hatchet! Haven't seen him since who knows! I thought he was off trail so it was a pleasant surprise seeing him. Uncle Lou took me to the Shakespeare festival and we Saw Two gentlemen of Verona. It was an all female cast. Overly dramatic as is Shakespeare, but the acting was great. The theatre was just like a real Shakespearean theatre outside.

I knew I would be getting back on trail without siesta fiesta. I will miss you guys! I am so lucky to have been able to hike and hang with you fine humans.

I am, however, excited to hike my own hike and be open to the trail as it unfolds for me as I wander with myself. I am out here mainly to cultivate my own indepence. Hiking with the group has been so much fun (and distracting), but I feel as I have lost my autonomy. I think that's just the nature of who I am. I must follow my own foot path at my own pace in my own space in order to be focused and present, and to share myself and receive most fully with others. 

8/15

1756

Left Ashland and got on trail by 10:30. This time all myself. Excited for solitude. Planned on doing 29 no matter how late I'd be hiking. Saw a massive green rattlesnake that freaked me out! Then another ugly worm looking snake, and later, a yellow and black snake! Walked til 12:00. Don't like being up that late let alone hiking that late, but it was quite peaceful. Or that's just me forcing myself to cope. The moon was glowing bright red orange.

8/16

1799

All day yesterday my inner thighs/groin was so tight. In need of serious yoga. Woke up from 5.5 hours of sleep and felt stressed. Stressed to need to hike 29 miles a day in order to make it to timberline lodge (350 miles away) by August 28th. I am flying out of Portland to go to Massachusettes for a family reunion at my grammas, which I have been planning on. I wouldn't miss it "for the world." (Madeleine I wish I could see you!!!) This pressure added to my tight groin muscles and no time to stretch when hiking and sleep come first. Along with being very tired from 1.5 days off and then 29 miles til 12:30. I was a sleepy and worried Biscuit. I remembered that though I do enjoy the challenge backpacking offers and the process of getting comfortable being uncomfortable, this type of stress is not why I am on the trail. As I walked to my next water source, an established campground on a lake with flushing toilets and showers, only 2 miles from where I had camped, I prayed there would be someone who could drive me just a days worth of hiking ahead, so I can average 25 miles a day instead of 29. 25 is my happy place. Walking up to the campground, very sleepy and lethargic (ok I didn't have my coffee yet) I see a blue Prius. There is a person in the car. He comes out as I start making my coffee. (Thank god the last two water sources have been potable from a well or spigot (my sawyer squeeze mini takes so much time and forearm muscle).)

He starts conversation and I come to find his wife and her brother are hiking all of Oregon and he is their "logistics extraordinaire". Very nice man named Bob who has met many hikers I know. Including darlings Switch and Stringcheese, and Cheeseburger who everyone and my great uncle has met! Skipping just a days of hiking means maybe seeing people I haven't seen in a while. This excited me. I enjoyed his company in the morning while I also had hope he could help me by giving me a ride as he awaited his hikers. 

This is my first time "yellow blazing", or hitching for a reason that isn't a fire closure or mandatory hitch. I feel great about this decision. I know some people would judge me, but this is me respecting my goddamn Self! Why do I feel wrong using that word? It seems fitting. Language is but going with your gut. Otherwise it's fluff that is a waste of time. I speak my mind, weather I sound absolutely mental, judgemental, bizarre etc... It's too much fun expressing yourself, so why limit and say "excuse me, I'm sorry, but..." It's hard to do, to not feel ashamed of our words. I feel bad when I gossip. So that feeling is a sign for me that it isn't benefitting me or the person I am talking about. 

Skipped 23 north to fish lake/highway 140. Hiked 21 total. Such a lovely, flat Oregon day. Forested shade and breezy. Came up with a mantra "I am where I am". Accepting where I am, physically, metaphysically, etc... It's hard work, and I have to do it. 

I ran into Switcharoo at the water!! Yay! 

The Mosquitos! Evil!

Didn't respect myself/my desire to stop hiking when it was dark- it got darker and the ground made for no camping. Missed 4 great established campsites. Got a little upset/self pity/negative self talk about not going with my gut and stopping at those great sites a mile back. I then remembered 

"I am where I am"

And just like that- Boom! An amazing site with a fire ring, tucked away. In bed by 9:30. 

8/17

1827

1800 miles!

There were fire fighters on the trail today and told us about two fires around us, just started from lighting last week. 

Truffala trees!

Gil the Israeli is on the trail right around here so I was so excited to see him! It's been like over 1000 miles.

And the cloudy skies opened up and hailed/poured on us. The trail became a waterfall. This is the aftermath.

Crater lake is right around the corner!

8/18

Walking into Mazama village of crater lake, where I will pick up my resupply for the next 6 days. 

So after 5 more miles after the "village" there is a 27 mi dry stretch. That means carrying 6 liters of water with a full resupply! And I heard it's all ridge up and down and exposed. Ugh!